All change takes change

Are you seeking positive change to enhance your life and expand your horizons?

As we head into the new year, it’s not uncommon to want to start it ‘afresh’ as we set new intentions to improve our ways of living and finding more happiness and joy. So why is it then, that by the middle of January we find ourselves floundering; feeling stuck and indulging in self-sabotaging habits and behaviours that prevent us from making the changes we desire?

All great changes are preceded by chaos

Deprak Chopra (Lascala, 2021)

Become the change you’re wishing for

There is nothing you can’t do if you get your habits right says James Clear in Atomic Habits (2018), so let’s explore how you can become the change you’re wishing for and take an active life-changing step right now.

I love the title of Joe Dispenza’s book: Breaking the habit of being yourself: How to lose your mind and create a new one (2012). His teachings on habits have changed the way I view the world and have increased my capacity for making better choices about how I emerge each day and what I put my energy into.  I was equally fascinated to learn that we have the ability to change almost anything in our lives after reading The Power of Habit: Why we do what we do and how to change (Duhigg, 2012). It helped me understand why the therapeutic approaches I offer my clients at Bayside Healthy Living, provide an easier way to ‘lose’, ‘override’ or ‘uninstall’ a habit/mindset and upgrade to something better. Charles Duhigg encourages us to focus on one pattern, which he refers to as a ‘keystone habit’. This unintentionally then has a flow-on effect into other areas of our life. For example, going to sleep an hour earlier can result in greater morning calm and clarity, motivate us to exercise in the morning and make better food choices throughout the day.

As discussed in one of my previous blogs, ‘Breaking the Cycle of Rumination’, we are creatures of habit. Every day we get out of bed on the same side, we brush our teeth before or after coffee, tie left or right side shoelace first, etc. Most of the choices we make each day may feel like the product of well-thought-out plans and decisions, but they are not. Habits in isolation may not seem like they have much authority on us but layer after layer of the habits we develop directly influence the choices we make. Whether it’s the food we eat, the hours we sleep, the choices we make socially, what we say or don’t say to those we love, the way we spend money or move our body, these are all habits that ultimately shape and impact our physical, mental, emotional, and purposeful worlds.

How does your new habit align to your identity?

In Atomic Habits, James Clear takes the science of Charles Duhigg (2012) to a more practical level by starting with a focus on our identity; the person we wish to become. Research has shown that when we truly believe a particular aspect of our identity, we are more likely to act in alignment of that belief (I talked about this in a previous blog ‘Love and Fear’). James Clear suggests that the more we can act from a kind and loving mindset, the more we’re reinforcing the habit or behaviour and proving it to ourselves. So, every action is effectively a vote and endorsement for the type of person we wish to become (Clear, 2018). You have the choice to decide what kind of person you want to be and how you want to show up in life.  

Your habits are how you embody your identity … your identity is literally your repeated beingness”

(Clear, 2018, p. 36-37)

The Habit Loop

Let’s break down a simple habit utilising the James Clear ‘Habit Loop’ model. The first thing that happens is there is a ‘cue’ or a trigger that tells the brain there’s an automatic mode being signalled to activate a particular habit. Awareness comes before desire. A craving is created when your brain assigns an emotion or feeling to the situation. Emotions drive behaviour, so how we feel influences how we act. There is however a gap between our cravings and rewards and the brain will want to repeat that reward if it is surprised and delighted. For example, will you have a water with your post gym session coffee or will you have a muffin? You’ve just worked out, so why would you want to ‘undo’ that with a muffin, right?

The Habit Loop

© James Clear

Change is about creating new habits that align with your preferred identity

Why am I telling you all this when we are exploring change? Unless you deliberately interrupt the daily programs/patterns/habits (the cue-craving-response-reward loop), the brain just keeps firing away and you won’t be surprised to find your hand reaching for things you don’t really need. So, when you search for a muffin or biscuit to accompany your coffee or tea, or the urge hits you for a piece of chocolate at 3pm, or a drink at 5pm (It must be 5pm somewhere in the world! … Sounds funny until you notice another habit has taken over and even earlier lunchtime drinking has started). You can see by this scenario that our brain learns and makes choices for us automatically, so we are not always aware of the habits that get in the way of who we want to be.

Best way to start a new habit now

Many studies have shown that best results come when we set the intention for implementing a new habit according to the ‘if-then’ plan so “when situation X arises, I will perform Y” (Clear, 2018; Duhigg, 2012).

James Clear suggests a simple way to apply the strategy is to fill out the sentence:

I will (BEHAVIOUR) at (TIME) in (LOCATION).

Examples may be:

Meditate: I will meditate for 10 mins at 7 am in my study 5 days a week (contact us for a free Morning Meditation audio track)